February 27th


1844: The Dominican Republic gains independence from Haiti, finally giving it the freedom to cultivate an entire nation of utility infielders.


1939: The U.S. Supreme Court rules that sit-down strikes violate property owners' rights and are therefore illegal. Organized labor blames the ruling on the as-yet unborn Koch brothers.


1964: The government of Italy asks for help to keep the Leaning Tower of Pisa from toppling over. The Tower immediately gets international advice telling it to stop drinking.